Sunday, August 22, 2010

Holy sh*t!

How could something so huge and so stinky and so disgustingly gross come out of something so petite, so precious and so wonderfully sweet?

These were my thoughts when my 6-month-old daughter laid this gargantuan (well, gargantuan for an infant) Number Two. This one puts South Park's Christmas Poo to shame. I mean, look at the shape, the sheer size and the multi-colored awesomeness of this poop. "Holy shit!" I said as I opened up Isobel's diaper. Holy shit, indeed.

As you examine the above photo, I know you're cringing in horror, yet strangely intrigued and fascinated at the same time. It's like slowing down on the 405 and rubber-necking the eleven-car pile-up in front of you. You just have to look.

Before we became parents, my husband and I never really gave poop a second thought. But after two kids, you'd be surprised how preoccupied we have become with the subject:

Me: "Wow hon, did you know Izzy pooped three times today?"
Husband: "That's amazing! Were they pretty healthy-sized poops?"
Me: "Yeah, substantial and really smelly."
Husband: "Must be the solids she's eating."
Me: "Uh huh. Our little girl's growing up!"

And we're not the only parents who are poop-obsessed. In fact, if you Google "parent websites about poop" you'll get more than 1.9 million results. You can find information about your child's pooping problems, read about tips for potty training, instant chat about what to do if your toddler is playing with his poop, and read blogs about the kid who pooped on dad's foot or how embarrassing it was for mom to poop on the delivery table (yes, there are sites about this).

So why is the topic of poop so engrossing? For parents, it's hard evidence (sorry, a lame pun) that you're doing your job. It's proof that your child is either being fed well (soft poops) or needs a change in his/her diet (hard poops). Good poops = happy child. (If you've ever witnessed a constipated baby, you know what I'm talking about. So heartbreaking.)

Whatever you call it-- poop, crap, shit, caca, dookie, dump, doo doo, brown trout, brick, baked potato, nugget, lump, loaf, nuclear meltdown, one-wiper, Captain's log, chocolate shark, patty, torpedo, Chalupa, steamer, grumpy (the list goes on and on)-- you have to admit, it's a must-discuss topic.

Illustration via Pinterest.