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| "My devotion to my faith does not mean I have the right to make anyone else's faith or marriage illegal." --Beth Hopkins, blogger @ In Case of Fire, Use Stairs |
I don't have many regrets in life. Just three, really.
Regret #1: Allowed my childhood bully to push me around, making my experience during ballet class absolutely excruciating. What my nerdy, skinny, 8-year-old self should have done was dig deep to find my inner grrrl power and kick that bully's tutu-wearing ass. (I'm not one for condoning violence, but there will be times in life when standing up for yourself will require a bit of sh*t kicking.)
Regret #2: Shopped at Wal-Mart. I did it out of desperation. Once. And I will never do it again. Ever.
Regret #3: Voted for Prop 8.
The night of the November 2008 election in California, I wrestled long and hard with the decision to support or oppose same-sex marriage. As a Christ-follower, the mandate I live by is simple: love God and love others. As someone who cherishes the Bible (for me, it's not a "book of rules," but rather a love letter from God to humans), I know what it says about homosexuality (Leviticus 18 is pretty explicit, for example). But I was torn. "Who am I to judge who others choose to love?" I thought as I stared at my ballot. And I kept thinking about one of my best and dearest friends, who is gay. "When he finds someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with, who am I to deny him this right-- the same right I enjoy with my spouse?" In the end, I decided to support how I believe marriage was designed-- as a sacred spiritual and physical union between a man and a woman.
Years later, my definition of marriage hasn't changed. But I definitely would have voted differently on November 4, 2008. To me, the way Prop 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act have played out has less to do with protecting the sanctity of marriage and more to do with discrimination, hate and venom-spewing. Right-wing conservatives, the Tea Party and the detestable folks at the Westboro Baptist Church have convinced me of this.
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| "I just don't like seeing those signs and I kind of wanted to put a stop to that," 9-year-old Josef Miles of Topeka, Kansas told NPR. Well said, Josef. |
Blogger Beth Hopkins echoes my sentiment perfectly:
"As much as I love my Church and my Faith [a lot,
you guys, it's changed my life in the most beautiful
ways possible], I cannot find within it anything that
says I should impose or enforce my own moral code on
someone who is not choosing to be a part of my Faith.
And as an American citizen, I can't find a place in
the Constitution where it says I have a legal right
or civil obligation to do that, either... My devotion
to my Faith and its teaching about marriage does not
mean I have the right to make anyone else's faith or
marriage illegal. And it does not mean I should be
unkind, rude, or unloving toward anyone, whether my
theology agrees with their lifestyle choices or not."
As someone who loves God, loves people and values equality for all, I've sought to articulate my views about same-sex marriage. Thanks to Hopkins, all I need to do is cut and paste.
Posted
on June 29, 2013
In
Case of Fire, Use Stairs
With the
DOMA decision hot off the presses this week, my Facebook news feed has been
fascinating. I just sit and watch the screen refresh with anticipation; waiting
for the gloves to come off.
One minute: OMGRAINBOWTEARSOFJOY.
The next: OMGWORLDCRASHINGDOWN.
And about every half hour:
Something about Jesus, churches or the Bible, and how they feel about “The
Gays” getting married.
As an
Orthodox Christian, I view marriage [which my Church defines as being a
physical and spiritual union between a man and a woman] as a Sacrament.
Something spiritual and supernatural happens during a wedding for an Orthodox
Christian: Christ is the Celebrant, He joins the couple together. And in a
Mystery, they become one person. Because of this, sex is meant for marriage
because it is a participation in that oneness. It is meant to be experienced
within the context. So, taken together: having a wedding, being married, and
having sex are beautiful, holy, and sacred.
Marriage
is also known as the White Martyrdom within the Orthodox Church: you are giving
your life for your spouse before God; this is represented by the “crowning”
part of the marriage ceremony [Yep, those are Martyrs' Crowns. Intense,
right?!].
I
cherish this view of marriage and sex as a healthy, full one. I look forward to
experiencing it; I believe it is truth, and I believe this because I trust my
Faith. It’s not an easy thing to believe, wait for, or live by, believe me. [White
Martyrdom does not exactly come up as a topic of conversation at most parties
these days.] But I know it’s worth it.
However,
I don’t expect every single person in the United States of America to have the
same beliefs I do about marriage any more than I expect them all to show up at
my Church on Sunday morning.
To
follow the teachings of Jesus or the Church is now, and always has been, a
choice, not a legislation or ruling. Jesus has never been shy; He has never
been a shrinking violet, but He has never been a politician, either. He loves,
He teaches and lives from Love; we choose how to respond.
Jesus
never ran for President, and America is not now, nor has it ever been, an
exclusively Christian nation. The Founding Fathers did not all go to the same
Church together. They did not pen the Constitution at a Small Group at Bible
Camp, and they never intended for a particular brand of religion to be legislated
from Capitol Hill. In fact, the need for Freedom of Religion [any, not just
mine] is what brought those rowdy ex-Brits here in the first place. That’s
why it’s [still] in our constitution [right now, actually]. So,
because the Constitution is what guides our law/political process, DOMA
shouldn’t be discussed in terms of religion, because Church and State are
separate here. And that’s where it gets tricksy, my little hobbitses.
See,
within the American political sphere, marriage can’t be viewed as religious,
because there is a legal component to it [and Church and State are separate].
So, the real question behind whether or not the Supreme Court should’ve upheld
DOMA is not “Is it Christian for people who are in same-sex relationships to
get married?” it’s “Should they have the Constitutional right to do so, based
on what the rest of our law and Constitution says?” When marriage is being
debated in politics, it’s a civil issue, not a theological one.
As much
as I love my Church and my Faith [a lot, you guys, it's changed my life in
the most beautiful ways possible], I cannot find within it anything that
says I should impose or enforce my own moral code on someone who is not
choosing to be a part of my Faith. And as an American citizen, I can’t
find a place in the Constitution where it says I have the legal right or
civil obligation to do that, either.
So, yes,
I am a straight, heterosexual Orthodox Christian. That means a someday I will
marry a man in my Church: we’ll put on Martyrs’ Crowns and kiss dramatically in
front of all our relatives [awkward!], and then we’ll dance the night
away. And you’re all invited. Because it will be a beautiful, real experience,
with a great party to follow.
My
devotion to my Faith and its teachings about marriage does not mean I have the
right to make anyone else’s faith or marriage illegal. And it doesn’t mean I
should be unkind, rude, or unloving toward anyone, whether my theology agrees
with their lifestyle choices or not.
I pray I have
spoken the Truth in love, and that I can live it the same way. And I hope for
your patience and respect as I spend my life figuring out the best way to do
so.
Originally posted @ In Case of Fire, Use Stairs by Beth Hopkins.
